“Humanity is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and pray to my Father in secret and be in peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble.”
I am not a religious person, but this quote from Andrew Murray speaks to me.
There is a Chinese saying called BuYi WuXi, BuYiJiBei that speaks a similar concept: Don’t be pleased by external gains, don’t be saddened by personal losses.
My awakening journey has been one of trying to find and keep peace within.
It hasn’t been easy.
I lost my temper with my son again, the precious 11-year-old boy, both sweet and joyful. I went into my room, closed the door and let tears roll down my cheeks. What is happening? My anger is always only towards him. His defiance triggers me so much and so fast.
Trying to get my inner peace back, I re-listened to Dr. Shavani’s “Conscious Parenting” talk. She reminded me of what I had forgotten.
I had forgotten that anger was exactly the same anger I experienced from my father when I was his age.
Things had gotten worse as I got older.
Date with Destiny 2012, Tony asked us “When you were growing up, whose love do you crave the most? Mom or Dad?” I avoided giving an answer for 9 years.
This morning, it popped up: My Dad’s