Updated: Jan 12
I have a mission: to build a sisterhood with millions of sisters to help change the world. This sister has the desire to bring each sister higher in life. Success unshared is a failure.
I have a desire to share my successes. Not only in the material sense but this rich feeling of abundance. I used to not have this desire. No matter how much money I made, I was not happy. I was also afraid that people would take advantage of it. And this did happen. People who worked for me embezzled money from my company; it was such an enormous betrayal and I never want to feel that again.
But when I look back now, I think, “Isn’t everything a spiritual lesson? Whatever comes to you in life has a gift in it, even if it is betrayal.”
One of our sisters is going through a very tough time. We call it the Dark Night of the Soul.
I have gone through hell and back, and I know how she feels. When you are in the midst of this journey, you don’t really know how long it will last. And it feels like forever. Like it will never end. The pain is unbearable. However, once you come through on the other side, life has a different color!
2015 was my lowest point in life.
I was in California at the S factor studio attending a workshop, Feminine Embodiment Leadership, when I received a phone call from my CEO. “Are you sitting down?” he asked. “We received a termination letter of contract from the Department.”
What? A termination letter?
By then, I had put 16 years of my tears and sweat into building my company;
By then, we had close to 500 staff;
By then, our successes spoke for itself.
I just couldn’t believe my ears… no words… no thoughts… couldn’t even grasp the concept.
No discussion, no warning….
What about all those clients… what about all the families that we were serving?
“Politics is so cold” was the one thought that came through my mind.
I hung up the phone and went into the classroom.
Then it was my turn to dance. The music started. I was on the floor, paralyzed, I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel.
My body was in shock after receiving the call. Then I heard a gentle soft voice from my teacher, “It is completely OK if you don’t want to dance.”
“Oh no, I am not a quitter.” Those words went through my head. I couldn’t speak. Crying, sobbing, shaking.
I never quit, no matter how hard it is. (That was a moment of triumph.) As I am typing these words now, tears start to swell up -- it is like I am back reliving that moment of truth. That was a defining moment in my life, I never, never, never gave up… not once in my life. I am a fighter, I am a warrior.
Though the pain is unbearable, suffering is a choice.
How long do I need to be on the floor and crying?
At that moment, I made the decision, get up, get up, get up!!!
Life knocks us down seven times, we will get up eight!!
Tears streamed down my face, legs trembling, it took all the strength in my entire body. But I got up… slowly, but ever so determined… I got up from the floor!
Then something I never expected happened. I saw all my beautiful sisters sitting around me, in candlelight and soft lamplight.
That was a moment I had never experienced, being held, being witnessed, being supported, being loved. I couldn’t see their faces because tears covered my eyes, but to this day I can feel once again how much I was loved.
Over the next few weeks I will delve deeper into my dark night of the soul, I’ll share how Wisdom, Courage, Inspiration and Peace came over me during this time. And how I came out of it stronger, better, and even more determined to move forward.
Thank God I have people on the same path that I had gone through…. Gary Ng is one of them…. He is the definition of courage… courage to follow his heart and dive deep into this spiritual journey. Please join me on Athena's Awaken Soul every Thursday from 8:30-9:15pm EST.