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  • WeiLi

The Voice in My Head

Updated: Jan 12

Last week in Athena’s Writing Club, the writing topic was “The voice in your head”.


I got so much inspiration from our weekly writing club. It has really fed me, inspired me, and empowered me to continue to share my stories and my vision of passing the light.


I don’t know about you, but I have these little conversations in my head all the time. It is that little voice constantly chattering in the back of my mind. Sometimes it pulls me into the light but most of the time it pushes me deeper into the dark.


Am I doing enough? Are you sure? Do you remember the last time when you left, what happened to your company? Do you really have the skills to lead this movement? Are you really showing up for your team? Do you really have the consciousness to create space for Athena to grow as you have envisioned? Could you really trust the team that they could get it done? What if they discover that you are really not that great in certain areas? Will their passion still last?


In Athena Sisterhood, we practice a tool called Trinity (a brag, a gratitude, a desire), originally developed by one of my teachers, Mama Gena from the School of Womanly Arts.


After a sister shares her desire, we say. “So shall it be, or something even better, coming to you at the speed of light, with dripping diamonds and pearls.”


After learning the tool, sisters start to add their own version after the desire, “with gems, feathers, unicorns.… “


First, my little voice started to say, “Wait a minute. They are not following the script. It is supposed to be just diamonds and pearls.” But then the little voice continues, “Who said it has to be unified just like that! Just let go. Let go of control.”


It is this little voice. The little mind. The ego.


Tired of this little voice, I started to practice surrender, then came to realize surrender is the hardest job on earth in this human form.


It feels like giving up control. But isn’t control just an illusion anyway? What is it that we can really control? Nothing. Our body is changing constantly. Our thoughts are changing constantly.


In Dao Te Ching, Lao Zi said: “Free from Desire. You realize the mystery.”


Set an intent, then let it go, free yourself from the restriction of having to control it, from how your mind perceives how it is supposed to work out.


Surrender. Surrender in all aspects of life.


When you think that you have surrendered, surrender even deeper.


Now, you will probably ask surrender into what?


Surrender into LOVE. Love is the strongest force in the universe. That is who we are. That is where we came from. As I am typing these words, sitting in front of the computer, tears of gratitude are starting to roll down my cheeks.


6:30 am. It is still dark outside. But very soon, the first sign of new dawn will come up. Actually, if I pay closer attention, the sky is already starting to change colors. A fainted pale orange is coming up.


As the sky from the distance is getting lighter and lighter. I smile to myself. “WeiLi, you are grand and beautiful.”


When I surrender, the little voice starts to speak from my heart, “Trust babe, just trust. The Universe has your back.”


Why? Because your desires are generated from the deepest part of your soul. They are pure. You are one with the source.


Darkness and light originated from the same place. Without darkness, how do we know that we are living in the light? Without darkness, how do we appreciate light?


Without action, how do we appreciate stillness? Without stillness, how do we appreciate movement?


Now the sky has brightened up even more. I am just sitting here. Sharing a soul’s journey. From Darkness to Light. I choose light. I choose for the divine light to guide me. I choose to be the light.


My heart and my little voice say “Rediscover who you are.”


You are pure consciousness, you are a soul. You are an eternity. You are one with the source.


We are together in this, sisters. You are not alone.


Love,

WeiLi


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