Nearly three months ago, Kandy, Goddess of Inspiration wrote to me: “Goddess of Light, thank you so much for starting Athena Sisterhood, and again showing up for Athena Sisterhood Hong Kong. I am beyond touched and don’t know what to say except gratitude. You are always here to hold space for us and I am so grateful and blessed to be a part of this movement.”
For the last 12 weeks, I have been attending Zoom calls during the early morning hours to support the Athena Sisterhood Hong Kong Branch.
This week Kandy wanted to teach pussification. This is a procedure that my teacher Mama Gena from the School of Womanly Arts taught me: a practice of making every aspect of your life to be fit for a Goddess. It is taking the time to do small or large things for yourself, and most importantly doing these things for no other reason than to make yourself feel good. Your world is your temple and your body is the altar. It would not feel good to have a messy sanctuary or a run-down altar.
So, at 7:30 am, I am on Zoom and ready. After explaining the practice and providing examples, a sister asked a very interesting question. She said that ever since she became a new mom, everything in her world had changed. The things she used to like aren’t attractive to her anymore. Now her closet is bare. Only a few clothes left. She is trying to find what her new style is and wanting to fill the empty closet. “I just don’t know!!” From her tone, I sensed frustration.
“What if you just keep the space open for now? Instead of trying really hard to figure out what your new style is, what if you simply enjoy the spaciousness? You like the few clothes that you have and they bring joy to you, right?”
“Yes.” With a big sigh of relief, she smiled. I could see this was an ‘aha’ moment for quite a few sisters.
What if instead of trying to figure it out, we let it come to us?
When we get rid of the things we don't need or want anymore, we are not only creating a new space in our closet: we are creating new space in our life. What if we got really comfortable with this space, and not try to always fill it?
Another sister said that she had accumulated a lot of stuff going through life -- different stages in life brought on different interests, things she used to like but doesn’t anymore. She was holding onto the stuff in case she would like it again in the future.
After Serena was born, I started to really like the color pink which I never did before.
Somehow I was obsessed. I didn’t have a childhood full of toys and dresses, so maybe experiencing pink is my way of living a lost childhood. Even Serena outgrew pink way faster than I did.
I still like pink, but now I’m not as fascinated by it. I might like pink again in the future but it will not be the same. It will not be the same type of fascination or the same type of pink because I will have changed. If I let go of my past pink, that opens up space in the future for the right kind of pink to come into my life. If I don’t let it go, I will always have a piece of the past holding me back.
It’s like how LaoZi, the Chinese philosopher, said, “You could never step in the same river twice.”
Often people get into relationships quickly after the first one ended because they are not comfortable with all this space. Yet it is in this space that we truly find out who we are. When we are not distracted by the external world, the internal world starts to get clearer.
Often people are reluctant to let go of old things, they think even though they don’t need it now, they might change back and need it again in the future.
But that is the point, you will change. Even if you change back, you will never go back to how you were before.
We, as human beings, are always evolving. Are we not? Things that don't grow will die.
When we don’t know the next move, or the next style, or the next boyfriend; what if we don’t rush into things and instead enjoy the space and alone time?
Give ourselves a time to go deeper and discover who we are, what lights us up, what we enjoy.
Allow ourselves to be really comfortable with space and really be comfortable with being alone.
Being alone and being lonely are different.
Loneliness is a feeling of a disconnect. Being alone and totally comfortable is a state of Peace.
Somehow, surrender, once again finds itself onto my blog and my being. Love to all.