*Please enjoy this gorgeous, self-loving piece from our guest blogger, Kiki Chan*
“Do you want to spend Christmas together?” I asked in a message.
No reply.
I took a deep breath and looked around
As pain filled my heart and radiated to my arms
The sensation of heartbreak
The vibrant city celebrated the festive holiday as usual
Filled with colours, lights, and smiling faces
That was not what I saw
I was surrounded by love and blessings
That was not how I felt
I chose to see lack
To focus on what was missing
I chose to keep the pain
“You should learn to be happy alone,” The same person later told me.
How could one be happy alone?
The idea blew my mind
Buddha said, “Life is suffering.”
How could one be happy in a life that is full of suffering?
What am I missing?
Life is suffering.
The roots of suffering are attachment to pleasure and avoidance to pain
We try to cling on to every bits of happiness
Like a drowning person grasping for anything that floats
When the temporary pleasure fades
We drown again, in greater pain
Let loose of the grip
Let the water brings us to a place we don’t know
The beauty of flow
The peace of surrender
Let us immerse into the water and realize it is never deep enough to hurt us
Face the pain
The best gift that can be given to us
A motivation to become better
An inspiration that grows wisdom
If everything is impermanent
If anyone in our lives eventually leaves
What lasts, for this lifetime, is our own self
“Do you want to go out tonight?” He texted.
“No. I want to spend some time reading alone tonight. Maybe another day ” I replied.
I smiled and felt my inner child dancing happily
Warmth filled my heart
I became familiar with that - the sensation of simple joy.
~ Kiki Chan
ckchan.work@gmail.com